Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
