haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
