I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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