new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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