Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
