I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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