You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
