those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize