so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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