I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
