i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
