I'm so fucking centered right now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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