We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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