nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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