I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
