i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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