Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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