why didn't you poke me back
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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