i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
