So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
