he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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