Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
