We named our party play list daddy issues
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
