I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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