Just mADE A PArabola og urine
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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