the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
