You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
