dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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