wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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