he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
