the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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