you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
only you would photoshop your dick
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
