so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize