There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
