I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
