Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
