Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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