On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
