I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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