I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Say something about gay babies.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
