new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
