Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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