none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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