grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
