Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
