OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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