Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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