Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
