i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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