And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
