well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
