oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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