When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
