so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
