ugly people sure do ruin things
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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