News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
