Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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