I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
