dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
