I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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