i will never coherently bang her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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