God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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