When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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