Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she looked like the before picture.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
