I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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