he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
