You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
